-a new goal-

So much for Supreme Court justice...my new goal in life is to able to afford a dishwasher.

-Moving out-

So I put just about everything I own in storage today in Arlington,VA.  I have roots costing me $111/month.  It's weird.  I guess now I'm really leaving.  There is no furniture, everything is packed.  In 24 hours I'll again be on a plane to San Diego, a sort-of-home.  But as I clear this place out, I reflect on how I ended up here.  Not just here in the physical sense, but how it ended up that I am right now where I am right now in an emotional sense.  Why I'm leaving a GP to go to AZ.  I didn't see things turning out this way (in fact, I'm sure I've sworn off campaigning at some point!)  As each room of the apartment comes to resemble the place I looked at last April, I also ask myself how my emotional connection to my living space changed over the course of the year.  When I looked at this place, the walls were full of promise, of infusing me with the wisdom and success of the years of former residents.  My relationship with my soon-to-be roommate was a friendship on the upswing filled with optimism of fun-times-to-be-had.  But neither of these materialized.  Maybe I did get some of the building's wisdom to make a more interesting person of myself than a law student, but a year later, I don't have a better sense of purpose in life, and my social life had little to do with my roommate and I can probably count the fun things we did together over the course of the year on my fingers (and maybe a few toes).  So, tomorrow, I'll sweep the place up, turn in my keys and begin a new chapter of my life with reluctant optimism and a little bit of fear.  Life may be about enjoying the journey, but it's hard to know if I'm making the right choices.  If it doesn't feel right, chances are it's not...and I don't feel that way about this, but it still hurts. 

Currently Listening Affirmation By Savage Garden see related

-Out of my mind-

There is this line in Sleepless in Seattle where Tom Hanks is talking about leaving Chicago in order to escape the city where he turns around every corner and is reminded of his dead wife.  I can kind of understand that.  I think that one of the reasons that I find myself looking forward to this 5 month Arizona gig is because I'm so frustrated here in DC and no matter what I end up thinking about how fed up I am with my job and the various unwanted dramas that ensued over the last year.  So, maybe some time away will do me good and I'll appreciate it when I get back.  But who knows.  Am I running away from my problems and hiding behind a workaholic job, or am I actually trying to solve them by pursuing the political life that I think I was meant for?  How do I prevent myself from getting sucked in and becoming one of those campaign nomads?  I like being settled, goal-oriented, not in a state of constant change or risk.  Why didn't I take a new job here?  What will I do come November?  And most of all, on what planet is it a GOOD idea to move to PHOENIX in JUNE??????????? 

-the mysterious fortune-

I had one of those office space moments on Thursday when my boss asked me to work on Saturday.  I was not happy about this prostpect (although somehome I still managed to get most of me errands done).  The attorney told me to come in the afternoon but that I would be working "until it is done."  As it turned out, that was 1pm-9pm with no break!  Since I was there past 7:45, I qualified for a free meal and a cab ride home.  Luckily, my friends Michelle and Jonathan were in Chinatown at a movie so we met up for a late dinner.  Thank you evil predatory lender for my delicious dinner.  Then the fortune cookie came...mine said "You will make a good lawyer."  I think I'll choose to ignore that one.   

-Busby and the pundits-

That sounds like a capitol steps skit.  I can't for the life of me understand why all of the pundits talk about CA-50 like it's a big predictor of the national political scope.  It's not. Political outcomes depend on local character, issues, and personalities.  Were she running against the Duke himself, maybe she would stand a chance due to his personal corruption.  But without evidence that Billbray took bribes during his tenure in the House, CA-50 will remain out of the Democrats reach in November.  Francine Busby is not a top tier candiate; she does not have Billbray's political experience or name recognition.  That said, given the district, I'm not sure who would make a better candidate.  The point is, this special election told us nothing about what will happen nationally in November.